are you a micro-feminist?
"transform yourself, to transform the world" -grace lee boggs
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You’ve heard of micro-aggressions, but have you heard of micro-feminism?
Like anything good lately, it started on tik tok, where one woman shared her favorite act of “micro-feminism,” a concept that I immediately fell in love with. While she doesn’t define it, what’s inferred is that while micro-aggressions are everyday acts of invalidation and dismissal, micro-feminism are tiny nods to female empowerment sprinkled anywhere and everywhere.
In her video, the creator Ashley Chaney, says that when she emails a male CEO and his female assistant, she will always put the email and the name of the woman first, or when she’s addressing a team, she will place the woman’s name before any of the men’s. Women in the comments sounded off with their own acts of everyday micro-feminism. “Mine is at the preschool I work at, I always call the dads first when kids are sick and the moms for billing questions,” wrote one hero. “If someone tells me they saw their doctor/specialist/lawyer/other smart person type role, I ask “what did she say?” said another. Thousands of women commented with their own version of this kind of small but casual, yet meaningful activism.
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What I love about this trend is that puts a label on the kind of activism that’s so crucial to building a feminist world, but often deemed invisible. I’ll frequently meet women and men who tell me they feel hopeless and feel like they don’t know how to make a difference in the world without realizing that they are in fact making an impact every single day with the small choices they make. We tend to view feminism as these huge acts of protest in the streets or going on strike, but we forget that societal change comes from individuals insisting on shifting a culture that feels unchangeable. It reminds me of the Margaret Mead quote about how large-scale change always starts with the individual actions of a few people. "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed individuals can change the world, Mead says. “In fact, it's the only thing that ever has."
“Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~Margaret Mead
Even when it comes to large-scale issues like Gaza or the feminization of poverty, your decisions and choices make a difference. Joining a sit-in or signing a petition is definitely a way to shape the future, but so is talking to your relatives or friends or asking how your workplace is addressing it. I still remember feeling emotional the day after Trump was elected and coming into the women’s bathroom at Vox and seeing that women had left post-it notes for each other expressing feelings of support and love. Did the post-it notes get a sexual abuser out of office? Not really. But did they validate my experience and give me the courage to fight against it. Definitely.
We tend to over-estimate how bad the world is and under-estimate our ability to change it. We’re constantly altered by the people around us, but fail to remember that we have the same effect on other people too. Micro-feminism gives us the opportunity to make those exchanges more salient and memorable
My favorite act of micro-feminism is when someone tells me about a successful man in an industry, I’ll say “got it, so he’s the serena williams of finance” or “so he’s the taylor swift of tech?” It will usually get a laugh, but I think it also makes people reflect on why we use men as benchmark for greatness, but not women. Men should feel flattered to be compared to the one of the greatest athletes and businesswomen of all time. Another one is that when I worked at a bar, when a woman would ask me for a beer, I would often start by recommending the dark beers because I knew that those options were often not presented as often to women as they were to men. I also avoid telling little girls that they look pretty, and use character-focussed adjectives like “talented” or “confident” instead. And these go the other way around too! I’ll generally try to avoid complimenting a young boy on how he’s physically “strong” and use other more non-traditional personality-driven compliments like being “kind” and “caring” instead.
What are your favorite acts of micro-feminism that you’ve either done yourself or experienced? Please share away in the comments!
This is brilliant! Everyday acts of non-violent rebellion that anyone can do, and the more you practice the more fun because it's definitely NOT FUN to be aware of normalized everyday garden variety aggression and not be able to do something about it in the moment. Great share!
During strategy sessions at work, there is always someone needed to facilite/lead the conversation and someone who documents and takes notes. I make sure to ask the women in the room if they want to facilite and “voluntold” the younger men to take the notes. Gotta train em young 😎