crazy is being right too soon
what it feels like to see the fire before anyone smells the smoke.
There’s this weird kind of heartbreak I’ve been trying to name lately. It’s not the kind that comes from being dumped or ghosted or misunderstood. It’s something else. It lives in my stomach. A pit. A kind of sadness that feels almost dissociative. Like you’re floating above yourself watching the whole thing happen in slow motion.
It’s the heartbreak of being right… too early.
It’s watching the same MAGA guys who used to laugh in your face now say the exact things you screamed about for months. Or years. The ones who called you dramatic or hysterical or woke. Now they’re like, wow, maybe this is actually bad.
I noticed the feeling creeping in when Andrew Schulz had this on-air spiritual awakening where he realized that Trump might not release the Epstein files because he’s probably in them. You don’t say. The man who used to joke about sleeping with his daughters and hung out with a known pedophile might actually be involved? Shocking. Then Joe Rogan started realizing that deporting innocent people is... bad? He said it like it had just hit him. Like Trump didn’t already spell it out. Like that wasn’t the entire campaign.
And then this week, Marjorie Taylor Greene called what’s happening in Gaza a “genocide.” Starvation. Humanitarian crisis. She said it all. And even though so many politicians have avoided naming the moral crisis that is being funded by the US government, I didn’t feel vindicated. I felt sick. Numb, almost.
And while part of me knows that’s progress, another part of me feels nothing. No relief. Not even satisfaction. Just a flat, quiet kind of emptiness. Because when they come around, it’s already too late. You already used your voice. Lost friends. Got less work. Cried alone in your apartment after posting something that felt true and getting screamed at for it.
Because by the time the world starts saying what you said, you’ve already paid the price for saying it.
You’ve been called unhinged. Too emotional. Too much. You’ve watched people unfollow, block, whisper about you. Watched your work disappear. Opened your inbox to a hundred angry messages because you shared a link asking people to donate to help starving children. Sat with shaking hands wondering if it’s even worth it to care this much.
And for a second, you really think maybe you are the problem. Maybe you are too much. Maybe being devastated is just a sign of being naive. Maybe if you were more mature, you’d be able to compartmentalize better. You’d learn to stay vague, like everyone else.
But now they’re parroting your language. Quietly. Podcasters who couldn’t name ICE a year ago now wanna talk about police states. Everyone’s got the language now. But they didn’t have to bleed for it. And most importantly, they’re the reason we’re here. They gave cruelty a platform, told they followers to vote for it, and now they’re confused Trump is doing exactly what he said he would do.
The cost of being right too early is real. It wrecks your nervous system. You start to think the problem is you. Not what you saw. Not what you felt. Just… you. Like maybe if you were a little less sensitive you wouldn’t feel like this all the time. But if this is you, I want to say something really clearly. You’re not broken. Or dramatic. Or crazy. You’re just awake. And that’s its own kind of heartbreak.
But it’s also a gift. Even when it doesn’t feel like one. Because the world needs people who see the fire when it starts. Not after it burns everything down. It needs people who say the hard thing when it’s still hard. Who risk being disliked. Who stay human when the world keeps asking us to go numb.
It’s okay if you’re tired. It’s okay to rest. To stop holding the lantern for a bit. You’ve done enough. But when you’re ready, come back. Because the people who were right too soon? We’re the ones who build the future.
And if we can find each other, maybe we won’t have to do it alone.
Before I go, I just want to say thank you sm for one million listens on our new podcast BOY PROBLEMS!! As I’m writing this we’re already climbing the charts and are just two spots away from beating Tucker Carlson…. yes, really. It’s completely wild. Help us beat Tucker!! If you haven’t yet, following the show and leaving a review on Spotify helps us so much. It boosts us in the algorithm and brings more people into our little (chaotic, hilarious, heartfelt) universe.
And seriously, YOU make this show what it is. So keep sending your juicy, unhinged, hyper-specific boy problems my way. The more deranged, the more detailed, the better. I read every single one and I love them all.
Let’s get to the top!!
Love
Liz-
Thank you, you put into words what I’ve been trying to articulate! I feel no relief that people are seeing the light. I have people around me who are being very optimistic about it but all I feel is dread and sadness because despite people realizing it we are already so deep in violations of human rights that we can’t undo.
You’ve named the feelings and intentional or not, there is still a glow of hope and optimism in your words, and it is appreciated!
Dearest Liz - It is a gift and a curse. It's called the Cassandra Syndrome. I am sooo sorry. I have spent decades and continue on as a truth teller working within the system to bring sense and truth to a broken world where we, as the apex species, are destroying ourselves and many other beings. I have been teased, even eye-rolled and nick-named "both/and" by male colleagues not taking language/words seriously to support the shift they support. I have been dismissed, and outright harassed. I've watched men (and women!) lie and scheme, and then be commended for the same work outcome I was doing politely, ethically, and persistently. I have watched women in the workplace cave and prop up a hierarchy that is extracting and consuming Nature as PacMan does on a screen. I witnessed the repeal of the fairness doctrine and the increase in corporate media ownership in support of profit over peace and caring. I smelled the smoke and predicted outcomes. One male mentor broke my heart calling me out for being "tenacious" as I witnessed my male colleague propped for the same outcome even tho this mentor knew he had lied his way through. I have been shook. I have been ignored. Don't let the hypocrites break you. Please persist at changing the story. We need each other. Take care and tend to yourself, no one else will have your back the way you need to have your own. We need your voice and your light. Thank you.