JD Vance Politely Explains Why Women Shouldn't Have Rights

Very demure, very mindful.

If you tuned into the Vice-Presidential debate expecting JD Vance to trot out his usual sexist greatest hits, you were in for quite the surprise.

Vance showed up polished in his pink tie, all smiles and charm, smoothly addressing the female moderators by name, only to spend the night weaving lie after lie about every misogynistic stance he’s ever held. He was like a wolf in sheep’s clothing—if the sheep had perfectly applied eyeliner.

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When abortion came up, he delivered a heartfelt tale about a female friend in an abusive relationship who needed an abortion, conveniently omitting that his stance on no-fault divorce would trap her in that very situation. He claimed he wasn’t for a national abortion ban but pushed for “minimum requirements”—which, as Jessica Valenti pointed out, is just another way of saying “ban.”

Vance also waxed poetic about how his party needs to regain women’s “trust,” conveniently omitting the real reason they lost it in the first place—you know, when they stripped away our constitutional right to bodily autonomy. And if that wasn’t enough, he had the audacity to claim he supports IVF expansion, despite literally voting against it.

But it wasn’t just the lies—it was the calm, almost casual way he delivered them, as if defending some of the most regressive, sexist policies of our time was simply a “difference of opinion.” His tone made it sound like debating whether the state can force a woman to carry her rapist’s child was no more controversial than discussing tax reform or some other legislative detail, rather than a matter of life and death.

Just last week, a young mother, Amber Thurman, died after being denied a legal abortion and timely medical care in her state. Yet, Vance had the audacity to decry Thurman’s death while simultaneously defending the very abortion ban that killed her. His polite demeanor in defending such inhumane policies worked disturbingly well—leading to headlines that played right into his deception.

“JD Vance: Cordial as He Advocates for Women’s Oppression”

How can JD Vance and Tim Walz possibly agree on the wrongful death of a young mother when Vance’s entire ideology—and the kinds of policies he champions—are singlehandedly responsible for the very laws that led to her death in the first place? You can’t regret her death, but not the actions that lead to it. Pretending to agree isn’t civility; it’s a quiet form of violence.

And while I feel this way, I know it might not be the take you’re expecting—especially for those who loved the lack of insults and the cordial tone between the two men, which felt like a return to an old-fashioned style of politics, very 2004-coded. And I get it! Courtesy is a noble goal, but when fascist policies are at play, politeness isn’t enough. The debate might have felt like a return to normal—the kind of respectful exchange we remember from the days before Trump turned politics into a reality show. No insults, no shouting—just a calm discussion, almost nostalgic, like back in 2004 when Roe was still intact and the Supreme Court wasn’t debating how many organs a woman should lose before qualifying for an abortion. But this isn’t 2004. It’s 2024, and in this America, a woman in California was just denied an abortion and handed a bucket and towel, told to drive to the next hospital, just this week.

Being civil to people who lie to your face while using those lies to seize power isn’t just ineffective—it’s dangerous. I want to live in a world where we can engage in respectful dialogue and find common ground. But being polite to someone who’s holding a loaded gun to your head will never end well.

It will take more than good manners to rebuild a democracy that’s becoming more and more fragile by the minute. We have to stay grounded in the truth. One day, we’ll get back to real civility—but being courteous to those dismantling women’s rights won’t speed up that process. In fact, it might delay us from ever getting there.

So next time, instead of seeking common ground with a man who relentlessly undermines women while trying to mask it, I hope Walz dares to ask: Will the real JD Vance please stand up?

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