Nation That Couldn't Prevent Explosive Outbreak Somehow Finds Budget for Testosterone Shots

Yesterday, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced that the military will now require annual testosterone deficiency screenings for all active-duty service members age 30 and older. Hegseth framed the move as necessary to ensure troops maintain the “biological foundation” to fight, and described it as a way to keep the force on the “leading edge of lethality.” Service members flagged as deficient will have the option, not the requirement, to start testosterone replacement therapy.

Cool. Very scientific!! Very serious. Let’s talk about why this is bonkers.

Roughly 5.6 percent of men between 30 and 79 have testosterone deficiency, a condition linked to fatigue, muscle loss, and mood changes. That’s a real thing doctors treat. What’s less clear is why the Pentagon is turning it into an annual mandatory screening for an entire branch of the federal government. The Pentagon did not respond to questions about what research underpinned the decision, and notably, has not said whether female troops will be screened for declining estrogen as they enter perimenopause, a comparably universal, comparably natural, comparably age-related hormonal shift that apparently does not seem to interest them in at all.

So to be clear, the pentagon is not like “hormones matter, let’s take care of everyone’s.” It’s specifically, deliberately about men. and them fitting a very dystopian model of what they think a man should be like, one that is in their words must be “lethal.” ALSO THIS IS GENDER AFFIRMING CARE BTW.

While the US government is very worried about testosterone levels, here’s what the Pentagon has not prioritized. Federal law bars the Defense Department from providing abortion care at military facilities, or from having their healthcare cover it, except in cases of rape, incest, or danger to the pregnant person’s life, restrictions that trace back to the Hyde Amendment and are extremely hard to prove. Their insurance does not cover abortion for fetal abnormalities or mental health reasons, and troops who need that care have to leave the military health system entirely and pay out of pocket.

It gets worse. In January 2025, the Pentagon quietly rescinded the policy that had covered travel costs, including transportation, lodging, and food, for service members who had to go off-base for reproductive health care, including abortion and IVF. So a servicewoman stationed somewhere without access now has to find and fund that trip herself.

Meanwhile, a program to test and treat testosterone levels in men gets rolled out as a readiness priority, no questions about underlying research required.

And to be clear, nobody is arguing men with a diagnosed hormone deficiency shouldn’t get treated. The issue is what gets fast-tracked as a national security priority, announced in a slickly produced video with no underlying research required.

It’s not about the money!! The Pentagon clearly has money. It’s about what the Pentagon has decided is worth spending it on, and it just told everyone, in its own words, exactly what that is.

And while we’re pretending this is all about biology, it’s worth remembering that testosterone replacement therapy isn’t some magical masculinity serum. It comes with real medical tradeoffs. It can suppress sperm production, sometimes dramatically lowering fertility which feels like a really weird thing to force on men who are of reproductive age. It can cause testicular shrinkage because your body stops producing as much of its own testosterone. Testosterone also doesn’t turn men into raging, violent monsters, despite decades of pop culture mythology. I talk about all the research in my book. The evidence simply doesn’t support the idea that medically prescribed testosterone therapy causes men to become more aggressive or dangerous.

That’s what makes the logic here so revealing. The administration can’t simultaneously treat testosterone as the sacred biological essence of manhood while promoting a treatment that intentionally alters men’s hormonal systems and has well-known effects on fertility and testicular size. The science is more nuanced than the politics.

More broadly, this fits a pattern we’ve been watching for years. Late-stage patriarchy doesn’t look like confident men running the world. It looks like institutions becoming increasingly preoccupied with policing, measuring, and medically managing masculinity itself. Patriarchy isn’t just a prison for women. It’s a prison for men too.

And if you’re wondering about priorities, remember that the current administration’s CDC cuts have undermined work on infectious disease surveillance and outbreak response, leading to a mysterious explosive diarrhea disease ranging across the nation, while the federal government somehow found the urgency to launch annual testosterone screening for healthy military personnel. Apparently the most explosive thing facing America isn’t an infectious disease. It’s men who don’t fall in line.

If you need a break from all this bullshit, watch our first live show with Marc Maron and David Farrier!!!