soft-lauching softer resolutions

in defense of doing less.

This year, I’m approaching new years’ resolutions a bit differently. After years of plotting what new skill to learn, I’m scanning for what I can unlearn.

I don’t know about you, but my brain feels impossibly full right now. It's packed with both big important information, like the number of casualties in Gaza and Ukraine, but also completely useless data, like the first and last name of every boyfriend that Taylor Swift has ever had. Why do I know Travis Kelce’s rising moon sign, but can’t remember any of my passwords? How can I have every word of a ten-minute song about Jake Gyllenhaal memorized, but can’t remember what I did yesterday. I guess that’s just girl math.

But I digress. The point is, that I need less stuff entering my brain in 2024, not more. So instead of adding more to our plates with new intricate morning routines or strict diet plans, what if we collectively took a year off from bettering ourselves? Or at least approached the whole endeavor a little bit more tenderly?

Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash

What this looks like practically, is approaching our resolutions with efficacious compassion rather than harsh discipline. Good inspiration for this, is the approach used in binge-eating disorder recovery, where there’s an emphasis on adding food, rather than subtracting it, even though it may seem counter-intuitive at first. Instead of focussing on what not to eat, patients are encouraged to concentrate their attention on eating more of the healthy foods that they already love. Making sure that they’re full with the right kind of food, makes it less likely that they overindulge in the “wrong” kind of food (for them).

So if health is one of your goals for 2024, instead of making a list of what you want to limit, why not center on adding more of the nutritious hearty foods that you already are fond of? Or if working out is a big priority, don’t force yourself to take up a whole new sport that will feel like a chore, choose a way of moving your body that you already enjoy, and plan ways to let yourself do more of it. Rather than adding one more step to your morning routine to boost your productivity, why not shave something off it? I’m sure you’ll be fine if you don’t dump you whole face in ice cold water, and just hang out on your porch sipping a good old cup of coffee with regular cow milk instead.

We’ve been put in a pressure cooker of self-improvement, and sold apps and hacks to reach a promise of happiness that very few of us can really say we’ve achieved. And the beginning of a new year only triggers more feelings of inadequacy in the face of this culture. Has meditating every morning improved my life. Probably? But playing with a puppy or letting myself bask in the sun for the same amount of time every day instead would probably be just as beneficial. I guess what I’m saying, is that we should resist the urge to optimize happiness, because the best way to achieve it, might actually be actually to treat it like a crock pot: set it and forget it.

And besides you can have too much of a good thing. While pressure makes diamonds, it also produces volcanic explosions. Volcanoes can be extremely serene and peaceful creatures, but when their magma is too stubborn and thick, gases can no longer escape and the pressure builds up until they furiously explode. Your body works the exact same way. If you don’t create opportunities for release, your body will find a way to, and it might not be pretty. So let your magma breathe. Instead of adding more constraint, explore with crafting more opportunities for release, so that you lessen the chance of accidentally popping in ways that might hurt you, or others.

So instead of making a list of resolutions this year, why not cross things off? What can you remove from your life? Is it a habit, a relationship, or a negative belief about yourself? Instead of trying to make your life better, how can you make it easier? Tell us one thing you’re taking off your plate this year, and use the comments to get some inspiration from others! I had so much fun with you this year, and I can’t wait to start a softer 2024 together.

Happy New Year

Love

x

Liz-