the case for emotional exfoliation
what needs to die for you to feel alive?
This week, as fall comes softly knocking on our doors, I’ve been thinking a lot about the process of emotional exfoliation, the peeling and losing of what’s no longer alive, to make space for something new. It’s a term I came up with when trying to explain the peculiar mindset I’ve been in lately. I feel like I’m scrubbing away parts of myself without knowing what will grow in their place yet. I know these deeply ingrained behaviors and beliefs need to go, but I’m scared because I’ve never been brave enough to look at what could be hiding under them.
Although letting go of what once was can feel excruciating, rebirth is carefully encoded in Mother Nature’s script for us. The human body incessantly renews itself and fabricates new cells to replace dead ones. In fact, by the time you go to bed tonight, your body will have fairly effortlessly replaced approximately 330 billion cells with new fresh ones that didn’t previously exist. And just like maladaptive patterns and habits, your body needs the old ones to die in order to create new ones.
Even dogs will shed every fall to allow new hair growth to make room for a protective fur for winter. To the naked eye, a bunch of hair falling out might be messy or an alarming sign of something being wrong when it in fact it’s a unique symbol of things being exactly in their right place. Without shedding, dogs wouldn’t be able to survive the unique challenges of a new season cascading their way.
The body knows it needs to change to survive. Just like pooches, humans are destined for continuous cycles of regeneration and renewal. But just because death is the most predictable part of being alive it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. As a creature of habit with a penchant for downward spirals, I’ve often been afraid of leaving a job, a person or a habit behind, even when I know it’s good for me.