The Left Isn’t Losing, the Right Is Cheating

The left doesn't need a Joe Rogan—it needs to start getting ruthless.

I thought we’d hit rock bottom with the election results, but then I heard the universal post-mortem take suggesting the left “just needs a Joe Rogan,” and realized we were still digging.

Of course, I get it. Joe Rogan isn’t just influential—he’s colossal. His podcast has become a cultural juggernaut, a space where millions of (mostly male) listeners feel seen, entertained, and, at times, radicalized. The idea behind the take is clear: if progressives could tap into a similar audience, offering an alternative to Rogan’s hyper macho conservative vibe, maybe they could sway a demographic increasingly slipping through their fingers. The thought seems simple: a folksy, relatable progressive podcaster could bridge the gap, humanize leftist ideals, and win over Rogan's army.

But the repeated cries on the internet—“If only Kamala Harris went on Joe Rogan”—are starting to sound a lot like “If only Hillary Clinton had gone to Wiconsin.” Sure, Rogan’s platform reaches far beyond MSNBC’s nightly audience or any campaign trail event, and appearing on his show might have moved the needle. But to suggest that this alone could have stopped the spread of MAGAism? It’s giving “if only Hitler had been accepted to art school.” An intriguing hypothetical for a think piece, but not a viable theory that explains a national fascist takeover.

The left doesn’t just need its Joe Rogan—it needs an entire new media ecosystem. You know, the massive machine that helped Republicans win the election. The right hasn’t achieved dominance because of one charismatic podcaster; it’s built its power through a vast, well-funded, and tightly coordinated network of media outlets and influencers. Just look at the numbers. In 2021, DonorsTrust and Donors Capital Fund, aka the Koch Brothers, funneled $123 million into right-wing groups, including media outlets. In fact, $13.9 million was directed specifically to right-wing media.

These large scale dark money investments have created robust conservative propaganda machines that cosplay as media companies. The Daily Wire, Ben Shapiro’s so-called news site, didn’t just girlboss its way into existence—it was built on $4.77 million in seed funding from the Wilks brothers, fracking billionaires who also handed $6.5 million to PragerU, a conservative content farm factory masquerading as a university. Then there’s Project Veritas, known for its bogus and unethical investigations, that got $1.7 million from DonorsTrust. And we can’t ignore the right-wing’s flashiest, funder: Russia. This year, the FBI revealed that conservative influencers like Benny Johnson were paid up to $100,000 per video by Russian operatives to destabilize U.S. politics.

And this isn’t even touching on Trump’s biggest donor (and new bestie): Elon Musk. Musk didn’t just help buy Trump the White House—he bought an entire social media platform and weaponized it for their shared agenda. One of the first things Musk did after acquiring Twitter was replatform Andrew Tate, a credibly accused sex trafficker; Donald Trump, architect of an insurrection; and himself, using his account to amplify misinformation, including a grotesque conspiracy theory about Nancy Pelosi’s husband after he was violently attacked with a hammer in his own home. This isn’t censorship—it’s a billionaire-backed information war, and the left is losing.

But the left isn’t losing because it’s uninspired or disorganized—it’s because it cannot compete with the staggering amount of money, coordination, and audacity fueling the right’s propaganda machine. Even the other billionaires are afraid of it!

But the right isn’t just organized and well-funded. It’s shameless. That’s the secret sauce. It’s not just that they have a Rupert Murdoch—they have an oligarch willing to prop up blatant lies like the “Great Replacement” theory or that the 2020 election was stolen from Trump, even when internal documents prove they knew these narratives were false. The left doesn’t have a Rupert Murdoch, not because it can’t afford one, but because it’s not ready to lie to win. The left can’t have the secret weapons of the left because they’re not willing to play by the rules that make them successful in the first place.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the left should lower its moral standards but we should be clear about what we are up against. The left isn’t losing because it’s “too progressive,” “too out of touch” or because we don’t have a balding transphobic podcaster who takes too much creatine. The left is losing because the other side is cheating. Period. And unless progressives are willing to adopt the same bad-faith strategies, copying the right’s playbook will always fail because it’s not taking in consideration the key to their strategy: not playing by the same rules. Copying the other team’s plans won’t work if they’re cheating—unless you’re willing to cheat, too.

So instead of self-flagellating and trying to mimic what the fascists are doing, progressives need to ask themselves why they’re still playing by rules the right is openly setting on fire. You can’t win a rigged game by playing nice—you win by flipping the table and rewriting the rules.

So what can progressives do? You guessed it: Enter their insufferable bitch era!!

Joe Biden pardoning his own son may mark the start of his insufferable bitch era, but why stop there? Why stop at pardoning your family when you could issue a blanket pardon for anyone accused of abortion-related crimes—shielding doctors, patients, and activists from the right’s crusade against reproductive freedom. It wouldn’t just protect lives; it would flip the narrative, showing the country that progressives aren’t here to play defense anymore.

Another way Biden could make Republicans crash out? Commute sentences of all federal death row inmates, to thwart Trump's plan to increase the power of the death penalty and ramp up executions. This wouldn’t just stop Trump, it would send a powerful signal that progressives are ready to willing to play dirty.

Biden could also channel some serious main character energy on immigration and absolutely fuck shit up. Forget playing nice—he could shut down the detention centers Trump would need for his mass deportation fantasy. No detention centers, no deportations. It’s bold, it’s unapologetic, it’s not demure, nor is it mindful! It wouldn’t just make Trump furious; it would flip the tools of cruelty into a mic drop for justice.

This isn’t about imitating the right’s playbook; it’s about outsmarting them. The real power move isn’t to beat them at their own game—it’s to make them realize they never controlled the board to begin with.

What bold moves do you think Democrats should make before Trump takes office? Which critiques of the left do you feel have been fair, and which post-election takes have made you roll your eyes? Let me know in the comments below—I want to hear from you.

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