unself yourself
on losing yourself, to find peace.
You know a book is tasty when it seems to seep into conversation constantly and effortlessly. Naomi Klein’s latest bestselling book Dopplenganger: A Trip Into the Mirror World does just that. It explores some of the trendiest issues of the moment like internet culture, conspiracy theories, right-wing populism, feminism, Israeli–Palestine, and disability rights. Klein possesses a remarkable ability to make complex socio-political issues accessible and enticing to a wide audience.
I was eager to sit down with her virtually, to go deeper into some of the topics that we care about here at Airplane Mode, and while you can listen to our whole unedited discussion above, I wanted to distill one slice of it that I thought could be particularly powerful for us as a group. It pertains to her exploration of the topic of unselfing, and how it can be a tool of resistance in the face of an increasingly brittle world.
So what is unselfing exactly? The term comes from Irish-British novelist and philosopher Irish Murdoch, who describes it as a way to lose our egos, and reconnect with what’s nourishing about the world.
The reason that Klein believes that unselfing is necessary for us, is because we’re incessantly inundated with novel ways of becoming self-obsessed egomaniacs. Our increasing tendency towards repetition and narcissism isn’t a fluke, it’s a function of the algorithm. “We're being fed ourself back to us,” Klein said. “The algorithm is a house of mirrors, just giving you more of what you did last time, it's all these loops. Keep being the version of you over and over and over again at infinitum.”
Because individualism is so incentivized, unselfing is a way to resist this ego loop. “In a way, we know that we are at our best when we are able to unself, when we're able to get out of our own reflection, our own self-awareness, our own self-consciousness enough to be part of some other kind of flow of life, humanity, creativity, beauty, solidarity, and [that’s where] there is something so extraordinary,” Klein said.
Klein used the current violence unfolding in Palestine as an example of how she can fall into learned helplessness if she doesn’t unself. “Right now, I'm very focused on Gaza and, and I'll catch myself sometimes thinking… what am I going to say about this?” she said. “That is really not the question. The question is not what I am going to say about this, and how that is going to be perceived. The question is what are we, collectively, humanity, unselfed, going to do about this?” After all we only have a limited number of hours on earth. “How much are we going to give over to these algorithms, to these performances of the individual self versus, the collective work of surviving, thriving?”
The question is not what I am going to say about this, and how that is going to be perceived. The question is what are we, collectively, humanity, unselfed, going to do about this?”
Klein argues that approaching collective problems from an individualistic perspective is a recipe for paralysis. Often, we ask “so what can I do?” But Klein invites us to ask a different question. “The answer is no, you can't as an individual, but maybe you as an individual with lots of other individuals, as part of organizations that are building strength and institutions can impact things,” she continued. “And not only is that more, you know, effective […] but it also feels better.”
But even if we confront crisis together, it doesn’t mean the work of civic engagement is a breeze. “I don't think we are wired to process this amount of proximity to human suffering [and] live streaming of mass death. It's so much and it's too much to bear on our own,” she said. “Thank god for the people who are taking these huge risks so that there are images, so that there's live streaming, […] because I don't think Israel does not want a record of its war crimes, but the sort of consuming of those images on our own, I think in a way is sort of wrecking us.”
The truth is, we’re living through times that are exceptionally difficult, which makes preserving our connection to each other more crucial than ever. Whether it’s this war, or the political unrest throughout the world and climate destruction, Klein believes that these crises are additive, which makes intimacy that much more critical. “Even the amount of mass death during the pandemic… it's the combination of our isolation and the scale of the crises that is just this dramatic mismatch,” she said. But the severity of the suffering is what makes our collective response so much more crucial. “I know that I start to feel better when I’m with other people whether that's a group of friends who I'm processing with, and thinking with, and realizing that it isn't just me, like with a death grip on my phone going, you know, there's a lightning that happens when we realize we're not carrying it on our own and, and, collective action,” Klein explained.
It's the combination of our isolation and the scale of the crises that is just this dramatic mismatch.
But this isn’t to say that doing something on your own can’t have a tremendous impact on others. For instance, when it comes to Gaza, those capturing traumatizing images are doing it for the greater good. “Somebody risked their life to get a phone in there,” Klein said. “Somebody was grieving, and instead of only grieving, said, I'm going to make something that is an image that that could go around the world. They didn't do that to entertain us. They did that to shock our conscience so that we would act so that we would think, what can I do?” Klein explained. “All of these regular people have just stepped in to produce media under extraordinary circumstances.” For Klein, the very act of taking these horrifying images, is a way to honor a social contract between ourselves and the collective. An individual will risk his or her life to livestream something because they believe that when someone sees this image, they will do something about it. And many have.
“Somebody was grieving, and instead of only grieving, said, I'm going to make something that is an image that that could go around the world. They didn't do that to entertain us. They did that to shock our conscience so that we would act so that we would think, what can I do?”
As much as social media can turn us into self-absorbed jerks, and make us feel useless in the face of global conflicts, it can also help us remain tethered to change. Doom-scrolling might feel terrible, but if we’re using technology to galvanize for social change, the same platform that can bring out the worst in us, can also bring out the best.
What will unselfing look like for you? Does it mean gathering with friends, and discussing what’s happening in the world, rather than just scrolling alone at home? Or maybe it’s making art out of the pain you’re witnessing, and using it to diminish division and disagreement in your communities. And if you’re looking for an empathetic group of like-minded people focussed on solutions and connection, you can join our sharing circle on Sunday mornings! I created this space precisely for moments like these, and for people like you, so if you’re tempted, come try it out.
And if you enjoyed this interview, you can go buy buy Naomi Klein’s new book to go even deeper. It was one of the best books I’ve ever read, and I think you’ll love it too.
COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS
Speaking of unselfing, we will be holding our second sharing circle this Sunday January 28th at 9AMPT/12ET. If you missed our inaugural one, don’t fret. It was magical, but so will this one be! Our special guest is Pras Ranganathan, a dear friend who was such a hit last week, that we had to bring him back for more. We will be discussing how to reframe loss, and listening to each other share about a time when we thought we had lost something, only to find out that it was a gift in disguise. Just like every sharing circle, there’s no need to prep, no need to get cute, and you can join with or without your camera. You can drop in when you want, and there’s no pressure to stay the whole hour. If you’re with friends or family and want to include them, that’s cool too! Please remember that you need to be a paid subscriber to get the link on Sunday mornings to participate, so make sure you’re subscribed now, so you don’t miss out on the link this weekend!
See you Sunday!
x
Liz-