I’ve been on the road, talking to male voters in swing states, and while the shift to the right is undeniably real, I’m leaving these conversations with more hope than despair. And the truth is, I’ve been thinking about you the whole time—about how to share what I’m seeing with you and why it feels so important.
First, I won’t sugarcoat it: the Trump effect is everywhere. Among young men in bars from Arizona to Atlanta, it’s surprisingly “cool” to back him, while support for Harris feels like a whispered secret. But here’s the nuance we often miss—this isn’t about men rejecting women’s progress; it’s about them being unsure of their own place in this new landscape. When roles for women changed rapidly, many men found themselves uncertain, left questioning where they fit, and Trump is expertly exploiting that confusion.
Tough Men Don’t Bow to Fascists
As I said on MSNBC before our Hotties For Harris tailgate (which had a huge showing of dudes btw!) Trump’s current “era’s masculinity tour” is the most revealing act yet. From his bizarre fawning of a deceased golfer’s penis to his Hulk Hogan fanboy moments, he’s doing a parody of manhood. Here’s the thing: real masculinity doesn’t shout. Truly masculine men don’t need to remind you they’re strong; they just are. They don’t throw tantrums on stage or feel scared to debate a woman. Masculine men don’t rape women, because women actually want to sleep with them. They don’t pose as protectors while leaving women vulnerable. They’re not manipulated by people who compliment them. I mean at this point, Trump isn’t protecting us from Putin, he’s become his side-chick. Trump’s performance is all flash, a spectacle designed to mask his deep inner insecurity.
Truly masculine men don’t need to remind you they’re strong; they just are.
Trump’s so-called “man of the people” act also collapses under scrutiny. While he lines the pockets of the ultra-wealthy, everyday men are left to contend with stagnant wages and shrinking opportunities. Tim Walz, in stark contrast, embodies a masculinity centered on service and protection. He serves his country and his community, protects women’s rights, ensures kids are fed, and defines strength through discipline and compassion. Trump’s vision, on the other hand, is one of dominance, where “strength” means exploitation and “success” means scamming the little guy.
Trump’s version of “masculinity” is so exaggerated, so performative, it borders on drag. And the fact that he spends more time with makeup artists than his own advisors doesn’t help him fight drag allegations. Every stunt, every outlandish statement, every bizarre display of bravado is like a hyper-masculine costume he slips into for the cameras. It’s masculinity as theater, as spectacle, and as a distraction from what’s lacking underneath. Trump is not a man, he’s cosplaying as one.
Trump’s version of “masculinity” is so exaggerated, so performative, it borders on drag. And the fact that he spends more time with makeup artists than his own advisors doesn’t help him fight drag allegations.
We’re at a crossroads where men are being offered two radically different visions of masculinity. One leads with empathy and community, while the other distracts, divides, and exploits. Tough men don’t find strength in blame—especially not of women and immigrants. Real men build. Real men lead. And we need to help them see the difference.
Trump is not a man, he’s cosplaying as one.
It’s time to validate men’s anxieties, not weaponize them. And remind them that they have a vital role to play in this moment in history. As Michelle Obama brilliantly said in speech at a campaign rally Kalamazoo, Michigan that frankly left me in tears, women need men right now. “If we don’t get this election right, your wife, your daughter, your mother, we as women, will become collateral damage to your rage,” she said.
“If we don’t get this election right, your wife, your daughter, your mother, we as women, will become collateral damage to your rage.” -Michelle Obama
And the good news is that this message is breaking through. New data shows that a lot of male voters, especially Black and Brown men, are starting to peel away from Trump. A recent survey of registered voters shows that the likelihood of Black men under 50 supporting Trump has dropped to 21%, down from 27% in August. Meanwhile, their likelihood of voting for Harris has risen to 59%, up from 51% in August. Many men are starting to realize that Trump is pretending to care about women, and that he’s pretending to care about men too.
If men are searching for purpose in a world where they sometimes feel unnecessary to women, this is your moment. Women need you more than ever. So the question is…are you man enough to stand up and protect us?
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