How Do I Get My Friends To Care About The World?
"They seem more preoccupied about wedding outfits and my weekend plans. Am I expecting too much of them?"
Welcome to the Help Hive, an advice column where I answer your questions about relationships, politics, journalism, and everything in between. It’s also a space for you to get support from our community as you get through this one precious life. Submit your question it might get picked! This month, I answer a question from Faye, an Arab-American woman dealing with a friend who doesn’t seem concerned with world events
Coucou Liz!
I wanted to ask you and this community for advice on how to deal with my disappointment in a friend who doesn’t seem too bothered by current world events that impact me greatly. I am very lucky to have a wonderfully supportive community near and far of friends and family who care and support me, but it has been really heartbreaking to feel this let down by a friendship I care deeply about. I’ve tried to explain the extent of the grief with the assumption that they just don’t know, or to educate them about the specific injustice of this ‘growing stain on our collective conscious’ but it doesn’t seem to change much of the dynamic, and they seem more preoccupied about wedding outfits and my weekend plans. Am I expecting too much of them? Do I reconsider the friendship? If so, how? And how can I communicate with someone I love who just won’t listen, or worst, doesn’t care about something so important to me?
Thank you for any advice you may have! I also wanted to say a big thank you for inspiring me to write more in this moment in time, as an Arab woman in NYC with a very hyphenated identity - about the importance of community and care, and how we heal only together. I’m working on a book I feel very excited about already. Mille merci for all you do and the role you have had in encouraging me.
Love,
Faye x
Dear Faye,
Thank you for your brave question. You’re certainly not the only one facing existential questions as horrific atrocities unfold worldwide. The reason I picked your question for our inaugural issue of the Help Hive, is because I know it will resonate with so many other members of our community who are facing the same dilemma.
While I can’t imagine what it’s like to be an Arab woman living through one of the worst spikes in islamophobic hate in recent history, I would expect someone who is lucky enough to be your friend, to at least try.