Liz, I love this. Someone told me only narcissists feel it is important to maintain healthy and friendly relationships with ex-lovers. (This was years before "narcissist" became the buzzword it is today), but i always figured if you cared that deeply for someone it's kind of bonkers to suddenly turn it all off when things didn't work out (different story if they fucked you over). But after this exercise do you still think this is a "toxic trait" as you wrote in the intro? Fantastic work in any case. Thanks for this.
I’m definitely too scared to do this. I haven’t had a serious relationship in a long time, is there a way I can still learn and grow from short term dating?
The comfort of a constant supply of mayo and French Fries is the most relatable thing I’ve ever read. 😂 This exercise takes so much courage! Loved this piece Liz!
Adam Grant also talks about the importance of not only having a support network but also having a Challenge Network; a group of people who give us tough feedback and push us to improve. I love the exercise you did. I, too, stay close to my exes when the relationship is healthy. My parents divorced when I was very young, but they've always remained each other's best friends. Growing up, I never suffered from their divorce because they were often together (holidays, vacations, random weeknight dinners, weekend getaways), and I could tell how much they loved and respected one another.
This is a great experiment. Agree 100% on the ratio of dateable people. It's probably the same ratio with art, music, co-workers, Amazon pants, and Italian restaurants.
I thought it was interesting that this exercise made you feel better and not worse. We can sometimes be overly critical of ourselves and forget all the incredible things we bring to the table. From the french fries to the accommodation of the other persons needs, I think these things can be overlooked by us when we just see them as "our nature" or "normal." I wonder if the "golden ratio" was experienced during this experiment? Positive psychology research tells us that for every "negative thought/feedback" we receive it takes about 5 positive ones to restore equilibrium. Sounds like you received more positive feedback, making the "room for improvement" comments easier to process. Loved this article.
Liz, I love this. Someone told me only narcissists feel it is important to maintain healthy and friendly relationships with ex-lovers. (This was years before "narcissist" became the buzzword it is today), but i always figured if you cared that deeply for someone it's kind of bonkers to suddenly turn it all off when things didn't work out (different story if they fucked you over). But after this exercise do you still think this is a "toxic trait" as you wrote in the intro? Fantastic work in any case. Thanks for this.
this is so brilliant and brave. I love this!
I’m definitely too scared to do this. I haven’t had a serious relationship in a long time, is there a way I can still learn and grow from short term dating?
Love this! Sending to all my girls. Let the exercise commence!
The comfort of a constant supply of mayo and French Fries is the most relatable thing I’ve ever read. 😂 This exercise takes so much courage! Loved this piece Liz!
Loved every part of this.
I am doing this right now!
Adam Grant also talks about the importance of not only having a support network but also having a Challenge Network; a group of people who give us tough feedback and push us to improve. I love the exercise you did. I, too, stay close to my exes when the relationship is healthy. My parents divorced when I was very young, but they've always remained each other's best friends. Growing up, I never suffered from their divorce because they were often together (holidays, vacations, random weeknight dinners, weekend getaways), and I could tell how much they loved and respected one another.
This is a great experiment. Agree 100% on the ratio of dateable people. It's probably the same ratio with art, music, co-workers, Amazon pants, and Italian restaurants.
I thought it was interesting that this exercise made you feel better and not worse. We can sometimes be overly critical of ourselves and forget all the incredible things we bring to the table. From the french fries to the accommodation of the other persons needs, I think these things can be overlooked by us when we just see them as "our nature" or "normal." I wonder if the "golden ratio" was experienced during this experiment? Positive psychology research tells us that for every "negative thought/feedback" we receive it takes about 5 positive ones to restore equilibrium. Sounds like you received more positive feedback, making the "room for improvement" comments easier to process. Loved this article.