I’m feeling so conflicted about this. I guess my question is, then what? I do agree that men are also complex beings, but you don’t typically see men doing the work to have more secure attachments and address their own struggles with intimacy. Women are often willing to do that work, are the men? I think many women stay in unhappy relationships because “he’s just not good at communicating” or “he struggles with intimacy” and then are left unfulfilled because the man doesn’t take on the emotional work. Perhaps I’m missing something here but that was my initial takeaway. I look forward to reading more comments and receiving any feedback.
Liz, this is brilliant and true. Currently talking to a friend who moved in with a guy 3 months ago and she's saying how he doesn't seem connected with her anymore. I told her that I fully believe that he wants to be in a relationship but doesn't know HOW. And I think that should be discussed more. People's desires and their abilities are two different things. In relationships as well. We can't suppose that men have all the answers and then decide if they want to apply these answers to a women in a relationship. That's sexist and false. People do their best. They flail. Sometimes it's enough. Sometimes it's not
This is amazing, especially highlighting the avoidant attachment behaviour. So many of us can’t easily articulate why we seem to get in our own way when it comes to really getting to know someone. Thank you for this.
I’m feeling so conflicted about this. I guess my question is, then what? I do agree that men are also complex beings, but you don’t typically see men doing the work to have more secure attachments and address their own struggles with intimacy. Women are often willing to do that work, are the men? I think many women stay in unhappy relationships because “he’s just not good at communicating” or “he struggles with intimacy” and then are left unfulfilled because the man doesn’t take on the emotional work. Perhaps I’m missing something here but that was my initial takeaway. I look forward to reading more comments and receiving any feedback.
Liz, this is brilliant and true. Currently talking to a friend who moved in with a guy 3 months ago and she's saying how he doesn't seem connected with her anymore. I told her that I fully believe that he wants to be in a relationship but doesn't know HOW. And I think that should be discussed more. People's desires and their abilities are two different things. In relationships as well. We can't suppose that men have all the answers and then decide if they want to apply these answers to a women in a relationship. That's sexist and false. People do their best. They flail. Sometimes it's enough. Sometimes it's not
This is amazing, especially highlighting the avoidant attachment behaviour. So many of us can’t easily articulate why we seem to get in our own way when it comes to really getting to know someone. Thank you for this.
I was *shocked* when talking with friends at the end of 2023 with how most of them had not had sex the ENTIRE YEAR (or MULTIPLE years).