Ovulating in Your 30s is Diabolical

My uterus is staging a coup.

There are certain things no one warns you about in your 30s. The sudden, obsessive need to stretch before bed. The faint, erotic thrill of buying a matching sponge set. The quiet act of spiritual resilience it takes to not quit your job and flee to a goat farm in vermont every single day. But perhaps the most destabilizing, least-discussed transformation of all is this: how violently, how cosmically, how embarrassingly libidinous you become during ovulation.

We get into it in the latest episode of Boy Problems with the inimitable Hannah Berner.

Is this how men feel all the time?

Because if so, I owe a few people an apology. And by “a few people,” I mean all the men I’ve ever rolled my eyes at for being unable to focus during a mildly warm yoga class. I get it now. I, too, know what it’s like to be held hostage by my hormones. Ovulation has made me temporarily stupid. My IQ drops, my skincare gets riskier, and every man with forearms becomes a spiritual test. I’m suddenly defending men in my group chat. I’m reconsidering old flings. What is happening!!

So I went looking for answers and it turns out that being feral during ovulation in your 30s is not anecdotal, it’s real. There’s actually science behind this surge. In your 30s, estrogen still spikes dramatically around ovulation, and that hormone is basically nature’s flirtatious little matchmaker. Pair it with a dash of testosterone and your body is basically yelling, “NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO MAKE A BABY,” even if your brain is just trying to focus on the zoom meeting with your boss. The result? A surge of desire so intense it borders on supernatural. Or criminal.

But it’s more than hormones. It’s also awareness. It’s the fact that by your 30s, you’re finally in your body. You know what you like. You know what turns you on. You know what kind of touch feels like a poem and what kind feels like a tax. Your libido isn’t just louder, it’s smarter. It has taste. It’s curated. That’s why women peak sexually in their 30s and 40s and even 50s.

Also, let’s be honest, being in your 30s is hot. You’re hot. You’ve got confidence, you’ve maybe done a little therapy, you’ve possibly stopped apologizing during sex. You’re not faking it anymore, emotionally and sexually. So when ovulation hits, the fantasy isn’t just about having sex, it’s about being seen, chosen, worshipped. And maybe also having sex. Women contain multitudes!!

Still, no one talks about it. We warn women in middle school about cramps and bloating, but not about the part in your 30s where you’ll be walking through a trader joe’s, feel a gust of wind, and immediately need to lie down. It’s wild. It’s primal. It’s hilarious. And, honestly, it’s kind of glorious.

Whether you’ve lived this, loved someone through it, or are just learning how powerful hormones can be, welcome!! You’re part of the story now.

And don’t worry. It passes.

Until next month.

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