Domestic work and childcare prenups/relationship contracts must include the MENTAL LOAD of the house and family and food intake as well as the physical labor loaded onto women. Even when a partner is "super helpful" or physically picking up half or more of the responsibilities, the effects of being sometimes the soul carrier of the family/household mental load is crushing. And my friends are running from their longtime marriages, suddenly unable to sit across the table from their mentally relaxed partner for another hour. ...while they lost years of hours having to THINK of everything.
Completely agree. Can we have an extended convo about this? It’s a huge source of erosion of trust, confidence in the relationship and sense of fair play. It deserves quality time and attention at scale. Want to reverse poverty? Normalize the valuing of domestic labor at the individual level, at scale. Share stories like the one you did where the child bearing partner is valuing their self and taking control of their means of (re-production. Economics 101 - they who own the means of production have power and leverage.
Love this! Spent too much of my life fighting with (now exes) about house cleaning. Friends would advise, just hire a cleaning service but when you’re cash strapped it’s not a solution and, I always argued, also beside the point. Because - yes! - it wasn’t really about the dishes, but about respect and valuing my time as equal to his. Great book on how couples (of any gender) can navigate this key to happiness: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. I finally found a kind, considerate grown-ass man to equitably share my life and chores with. HOT! We may not need a pre-nup but it sure would’ve helped end those previous relationships much earlier and saved a lot of anguish. And oh yeah, mamas, don’t raise your sons to be slobs.
Domestic work and childcare prenups/relationship contracts must include the MENTAL LOAD of the house and family and food intake as well as the physical labor loaded onto women. Even when a partner is "super helpful" or physically picking up half or more of the responsibilities, the effects of being sometimes the soul carrier of the family/household mental load is crushing. And my friends are running from their longtime marriages, suddenly unable to sit across the table from their mentally relaxed partner for another hour. ...while they lost years of hours having to THINK of everything.
this is SUCH an important point!!
Completely agree. Can we have an extended convo about this? It’s a huge source of erosion of trust, confidence in the relationship and sense of fair play. It deserves quality time and attention at scale. Want to reverse poverty? Normalize the valuing of domestic labor at the individual level, at scale. Share stories like the one you did where the child bearing partner is valuing their self and taking control of their means of (re-production. Economics 101 - they who own the means of production have power and leverage.
agreed!
THIS IS BRILLIANT! 🙌❤️
❤️
Love this! Spent too much of my life fighting with (now exes) about house cleaning. Friends would advise, just hire a cleaning service but when you’re cash strapped it’s not a solution and, I always argued, also beside the point. Because - yes! - it wasn’t really about the dishes, but about respect and valuing my time as equal to his. Great book on how couples (of any gender) can navigate this key to happiness: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. I finally found a kind, considerate grown-ass man to equitably share my life and chores with. HOT! We may not need a pre-nup but it sure would’ve helped end those previous relationships much earlier and saved a lot of anguish. And oh yeah, mamas, don’t raise your sons to be slobs.
not needing a domestic chore pre-nup is a GREEN FLAG ❤️