Trump Saves TikTok From the Ban He Created

Brave!

Trump’s presidency hasn’t even started yet, and he’s already back on his nonsense, casting us all in a play we didn’t audition for. If the last nine years have felt like living inside a chaotic reality show, that’s because you are. Like any malignant narcissist, Trump treats his life like he’s the star of an endless soap opera, and guess what? You’re an unwilling extra.

This weekend, he cast TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew and handed him a script. Chew didn’t just take the role; he nailed it, hitting every note of obedient flattery like a guy auditioning to be Trump’s emotional support blanket. The app “shut down” for no apparent reason, deliberately going dark to amplify the drama, and left behind a literal Trump ad for 170 million users, praising him for helping get the app back. Missing from this little production? The fact that Trump is the reason TikTok was banned in the first place.

Let’s not forget: Trump has repeatedly called for TikTok to be banned over the years. In fact, he signed an executive order to ban in back in 2020!

Trump didn’t save TikTok, he banned it! And then demanded applause for cleaning up the mess he made. It’s not giving commander-in-chief, it’s giving Real Housewives of Mar-a-Lago.

But the real story isn’t just Trump’s elaborate PR stunt and manufactured TikTok crisis, it’s how many powerful men are willing to bend over and be submissive in his charade. Tech bros like Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and now TikTok’s CEO have lined up to donate Trump’s inauguration and attend the ceremony, an event now held indoors, deprioritizing his own supporters, some of which have already spent their savings to travel to DC. What we’re witnessing is a masterclass in submission: sycophantic men bending the knee to patriarchy’s biggest showman for a seat at the table.

This is how weak men enable strongmen. Trump doesn’t command respect, he demands obedience. The tech bros fawning over Trump look less like titans of industry and more like the waterboys of patriarchy. They’re not leaders; they’re henchmen, props in Trump’s ongoing performance of playing the alpha dog.

But what Trump is doing isn’t just using his leverage as the most powerful man in the world to create a PR Stunt to make himself look good, it’s also textbook narcissist tactics. Step 1: Manufacture a crisis (in this case, banning TikTok) to generate media coverage, public outrage, and debate. Step 2: Position yourself as the hero by swooping in with the solution to the very problem you created. Step 3: Surround yourself with spineless yes-men who’ll applaud your every move and amplify your control.

This isn’t just about TikTok—it’s about Trump’s ability to manipulate us, the media, and even the most powerful men in tech. The TikTok shutdown wasn’t necessary. It was a staged moment designed to maximize attention and reinforce the idea that Trump alone can “fix” problems even if they are problems that he created. And a clear play to manufacture Gen Z support, especially from young impressionable men, who are primary users of the app and helped Trump win the election.

And yet, the men who should know better keep playing along. They prop him up, validate his delusions, and enable his authoritarian tendencies. This isn’t strength, it’s cowardice wrapped in expensive suits.

The real question isn’t why TikTok went dark. It’s why so many powerful men are willing to humiliate themselves in the service of a man who is so obviously using them. Trump’s presidency is shaping up to be less about leadership and more about watching weak men submit to him.

It’s also worth noting that this TikTok drama served as a perfect distraction from one of the most appalling abuses of power: Trump quietly quadrupling his personal worth with an unregulated crypto coin.

It’s also a convenient way to keep the media too distracted to cover the thousands of people flooding the streets of Washington, DC for the People’s March to oppose Trump’s presidency. Here is a photo I took from the protest which encapsulates perfectly what we’re up against.

But like I said in my speech to the magnificent and energetic crowd, we have to keep laughing at these losers. This is the part of history where kids in class will one day ask, “Why didn’t anyone do anything?” And I truly believe humor will be part of the answer, because these men traffic in respect. If we don’t respect them, they lose their power.

I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this: laughter will be a vital tool in building the future we deserve. It will keep us sharp, strong, and unshakable. And it will remind us that no matter how loud these men are, they’re no match for the power of people united, and unafraid to laugh in their faces.

Powerful men’s most prized possession is your adoration and attention, use them wisely.