Mark Zuckerberg Comes Out As Spineless

Imagine simping for Trump so hard that you threaten accidentally democracy.

My day started with my roommate banging on my door at 7 a.m., warning that we needed to pack up our “precious belongings” (translation: my laptop, a half-eaten bag of cashews, and a candle I can’t explain) and evacuate because, well, the world is literally on fire. After losing power and watching flames tear through LA, I’ve set up camp at my friend Mari’s place, where the apocalyptic vibes feel weirdly fitting to unpack Mark Zuckerberg’s latest mid-life crisis slash democracy-destroying PR stunt.

this year has been normal so far.

It’s official: Mark Zuckerberg has just come out as the world’s richest wet blanket. Brave!

In his latest desperate attempt to prove his worth in the broligarchy, he axed Meta’s fact-checkers, gutted accountability, and basically handed Trump the keys to the misinformation kingdom—all while trying to flex some bizarre version of masculinity that involves wearing a gold chain, a designer t-shirt that costs more than your rent and kneeling to a 78-year-old alpha.

I wrote an essay for PassionFruit about Zuckerberg’s jaw-dropping new announcement. You can read the full piece on PassionFruit’s website, but I’m sharing a chunk of it here because, my god, it’s terrifying. Zuckerberg is really out here simping for Trump like the biggest simp of all time, and the cost isn’t just his reputation—it’s the integrity of the fourth estate.

In my piece, I dive into the logistics of how this screws us all over, but let’s take a moment to address just how embarrassing this is for Zuckerberg on a fundamental human man level.

In the broligarchy—a male-dominated oligarchy where power is hoarded by a few men who are more focused on impressing each other than serving the greater good—women and minorities always bear the brunt. Stripping away protections, whether online or offline, disproportionately harms the most vulnerable. Women face increased danger on the internet, while conspiracy theories, like those accusing immigrants of BBQing their pets, inflict cruel and tangible harm on marginalized groups. Removing guardrails only deepens these disadvantages.

But here’s the thing: Zuckerberg, Mr. Bro-seph himself—despite his testosterone-pumping, UFC-frat-boy makeover—isn’t even living up to his own bro-code definition of masculinity. If hyper masculinity is all about protection, namely the protection of women, Zuckerberg has failed spectacularly. How is it protecting women to allow users to label women as “property” and calling trans people “freaks?” His moves aren’t strong or bold; they’re cowardly, and flat out submissive. He’s kneeling to Trump’s ego while gutting the very systems designed to hold men like him accountable.

The brogiarchy loves to parade itself as a bastion of strength, but underneath all the posturing, it’s a hollow display of weakness. It’s not about being strong—it’s about groveling for approval from the guy above you. Zuckerberg is willingly sinking into a system that doesn’t empower men—it diminishes them. Accountability is swapped for submission, intelligence for blind obedience, and courage for the constant fear of upsetting the top dog. Even billionaires like Zuckerberg, with all their resources, end up as mere sidekicks in a ridiculous performance of fragile masculinity.

But here’s what we rarely talk about: making the internet less safe and truthful isn’t just bad for women, it’s bad for men. Dismantling these guardrails doesn’t just make the internet more dangerous for women and minorities—it makes it more dangerous for vulnerable men and boys. Removing protections won’t harm Zuckerberg or Musk, safely insulated by their wealth and privilege. It will harm the isolated, disenfranchised men and boys preyed upon by malevolent forces online. These are the men radicalized by misinformation, swept up in conspiracy theories, and ultimately exploited in the absence of safeguards. The men who will be harmed by this decision are the same ones that Steven Bannon relished in exploiting and manipulating to shape them into Trump supporters that would eventually bring them to power. The brogiarchs rely on disenfranchised, disconnected men to join their ranks and fight their battles, and Zuckerberg’s new guidelines will only make it easier to recruit more of them for this unpaid thankless job.

So while Zuckerberg’s macho “big boy” makeover and latest actions might get a grunt of approval from the alphas he’s desperate to impress, the consequences hit hardest on everyone beneath him in the brogiarchy—including the very men he believes he is protecting. Sure, some men might cheer this announcement, thinking it frees them to say whatever they want, whenever they want, but in reality, it creates fertile ground for their radicalization, not their liberation.

Someone get this man a spine—and also a better stylist, because our collective well-being and the very stability of our society are at stake.