I never imagined I’d be commenting on a Substack about Lily Phillips attempting to sleep with 100 men in a 24-hour period between Christmas and New Years. But here we are. And to clarify, I don’t mean she did this during the week between Christmas and New Year’s—just in some random 24-hour stretch. Though, imagining it as the plot of a Hallmark Christmas movie is interesting: a big-city businesswoman returning home for the holidays, saving the family Christmas tree farm from an evil big-box conglomerate… by sleeping with 100 men. On the downside, it’s an oddly specific way to save a farm. On the upside, at least the actors would get paid and fed, and the crew wouldn’t need protective gear.
Jokes aside, Liz always raises questions others shy away from, and this piece is no exception.
The sex industry is a racket. Performers are paid meager wages. Oversight on safety is almost nonexistent, and even when attempts are made, dangerous situations still arise. The societal consequences of working in this industry are profound and often lifelong. These issues stem from its legal gray areas and the stigma surrounding it. But even if legalization became widespread, would it solve anything? That raises the age-old question: is “forced prostitution” redundant? Does anyone grow up dreaming of becoming a sex worker?
I appreciate Liz for turning the lens toward the men in this documentary. I haven’t watched it—neither the “short film,” as my best friend calls it, nor the documentary. But the questions are worth exploring: Who are the victims? Who benefits? And how do our ingrained ideas and biases shape our opinions about all of this?
Thanks, again, Liz for challenging us to question everything.
Hmm, I don’t think there is a “body count” that objectively determines generally one as a victim or a slut.
Especially as it comes to being a “slut”, since I believe it is based on judgments about sexual behavior by puritanical standards. It does not capture inherent quality or category of a person but rather religious projections of sexuality.
Im more of the, “you do you boo!” Camp, cuz haters are always going to hate.
I appreciated how confident Lily seemed in her decision making around her business. It was interesting to see her origin story and not have it be fraught with desperation or “no other choice” energy. She fully chose this path for herself and speaks about how much she enjoys doing this and how it fulfills fantasy for her. Who are we to yuck her yum?
There was the one man who said he was nervous to be caught, and thought his dad would kick him out. That seemed to be the only sniff of consequence for the men. All the other talk was about Lily’s state of mind, Lily’s risk of STI, etc…..until Lily brought up her complicated feelings around the men and their experience. It was fascinating.
I think it’s so rare for us to see a woman who clearly communicates what she wants as Lily did, and who seems unbothered by the weight of bucking societal expectation as she is. That’s dangerous for society as a whole, hence the scorn and judgement Lily continues to receive.
It was an interesting look inside a part of the world I’m not familiar with and I really appreciated your takes and perspective. I see no victim in Lily.
Had missed this entirely and wanted to sit with the documentary before commenting... oh. my. goodness. I have so many feelings!
Lily's recognition of her own agency and sexual desires while identifying them as feminism felt so anti-patriarchal, especially in regards to her sexual confidence, but that next to the emotional reaction at the end and the desire to please her fans even though it required her to put her needs last felt like the way so many woman cater to patriarchy in their every day (myself included here 😭)
Wasn't a huge fan of the person conducting the documentary constantly inserting his own feelings where he felt Lily should have had some. There was a lot of projection and dismissing of what the woman in front of him was saying. Of course her actions could be motivated purely by capitalism and detached from the reality of human harm? yes, but so are his in creation of the documentary and his clear disdain of such in your face female sexuality.
So interesting. Thanks for sharing and writing on this!
I’m both perplexed and applaud her ability to think like the patriarchy. Why isn’t it normalized for women? We/men do things by any means necessary (think Musk/Trump) and are literally considered deity 🤷🏽♂️👀 and seem to suffer no consequences 👎🏾
Excellent, well -conceived points. I 100% agree. Look at the online BDSM community. Many doms have been truly victimized and are getting even with men. However, many others are just taking advantage of the natural power they have to make money. Likewise, I’m told some prostitutes thoroughly enjoy their careers and weren’t trapped or coerced into it.
can you sleep with one hundred men and not be a victim?
I never imagined I’d be commenting on a Substack about Lily Phillips attempting to sleep with 100 men in a 24-hour period between Christmas and New Years. But here we are. And to clarify, I don’t mean she did this during the week between Christmas and New Year’s—just in some random 24-hour stretch. Though, imagining it as the plot of a Hallmark Christmas movie is interesting: a big-city businesswoman returning home for the holidays, saving the family Christmas tree farm from an evil big-box conglomerate… by sleeping with 100 men. On the downside, it’s an oddly specific way to save a farm. On the upside, at least the actors would get paid and fed, and the crew wouldn’t need protective gear.
Jokes aside, Liz always raises questions others shy away from, and this piece is no exception.
The sex industry is a racket. Performers are paid meager wages. Oversight on safety is almost nonexistent, and even when attempts are made, dangerous situations still arise. The societal consequences of working in this industry are profound and often lifelong. These issues stem from its legal gray areas and the stigma surrounding it. But even if legalization became widespread, would it solve anything? That raises the age-old question: is “forced prostitution” redundant? Does anyone grow up dreaming of becoming a sex worker?
I appreciate Liz for turning the lens toward the men in this documentary. I haven’t watched it—neither the “short film,” as my best friend calls it, nor the documentary. But the questions are worth exploring: Who are the victims? Who benefits? And how do our ingrained ideas and biases shape our opinions about all of this?
Thanks, again, Liz for challenging us to question everything.
thank you for engaging with all the complicated themes in this story so beautifully!
Hmm, I don’t think there is a “body count” that objectively determines generally one as a victim or a slut.
Especially as it comes to being a “slut”, since I believe it is based on judgments about sexual behavior by puritanical standards. It does not capture inherent quality or category of a person but rather religious projections of sexuality.
Im more of the, “you do you boo!” Camp, cuz haters are always going to hate.
i think we all need to bring more “you do you boo” energy into 2025 🫶
I appreciated how confident Lily seemed in her decision making around her business. It was interesting to see her origin story and not have it be fraught with desperation or “no other choice” energy. She fully chose this path for herself and speaks about how much she enjoys doing this and how it fulfills fantasy for her. Who are we to yuck her yum?
There was the one man who said he was nervous to be caught, and thought his dad would kick him out. That seemed to be the only sniff of consequence for the men. All the other talk was about Lily’s state of mind, Lily’s risk of STI, etc…..until Lily brought up her complicated feelings around the men and their experience. It was fascinating.
I think it’s so rare for us to see a woman who clearly communicates what she wants as Lily did, and who seems unbothered by the weight of bucking societal expectation as she is. That’s dangerous for society as a whole, hence the scorn and judgement Lily continues to receive.
It was an interesting look inside a part of the world I’m not familiar with and I really appreciated your takes and perspective. I see no victim in Lily.
Had missed this entirely and wanted to sit with the documentary before commenting... oh. my. goodness. I have so many feelings!
Lily's recognition of her own agency and sexual desires while identifying them as feminism felt so anti-patriarchal, especially in regards to her sexual confidence, but that next to the emotional reaction at the end and the desire to please her fans even though it required her to put her needs last felt like the way so many woman cater to patriarchy in their every day (myself included here 😭)
Wasn't a huge fan of the person conducting the documentary constantly inserting his own feelings where he felt Lily should have had some. There was a lot of projection and dismissing of what the woman in front of him was saying. Of course her actions could be motivated purely by capitalism and detached from the reality of human harm? yes, but so are his in creation of the documentary and his clear disdain of such in your face female sexuality.
So interesting. Thanks for sharing and writing on this!
I’m both perplexed and applaud her ability to think like the patriarchy. Why isn’t it normalized for women? We/men do things by any means necessary (think Musk/Trump) and are literally considered deity 🤷🏽♂️👀 and seem to suffer no consequences 👎🏾
A few men yes. Haven’t met anyone who thinks I’m a deity and would likely assume they were on drugs. lol
Excellent, well -conceived points. I 100% agree. Look at the online BDSM community. Many doms have been truly victimized and are getting even with men. However, many others are just taking advantage of the natural power they have to make money. Likewise, I’m told some prostitutes thoroughly enjoy their careers and weren’t trapped or coerced into it.