Awww Liz. This is such a bravehearted story to share. Sending you and Monica loads of love and support in the wake of this fertility try that didn’t work out. I too have been through over 14 years of IVFs, GCs, donor eggs, divorce, getting married again, trying again.
The best advice I got was from a Chinese Medicine doctor qi gong Master Dr. Yang in NYC who did accupuncture for me and gave me the mantra “No ‘What if’s’.”
Stay present. Don’t go down the rabbit holes.
As Brenè would say the antidote for foreboding joy is gratitude. Glad you and Monica found each other this lifetime.
In my coaching career, I find this nameless-to-the-client condition to be so common. I ask, “What does this feeling remind you of?” and the stories pour out.
I'm sorry for the sadness and suffering in your experience, and grateful for the sharing.
Thank you for writing about this, and I’m really sorry the egg freezing didn’t work out as well as hoped. So many people go through ambiguous loss without being able to name it. Personally, I find my mental health is SO much better in my late 40s than it was age 35-45. I think that’s because my loss has crystallised and I can now deal with it. In hindsight I can see how very exhausting it was to manage intense and conflicting emotions for years on end.
On one hand I was experiencing the stress and disappointments of dating, heavy external pressures to have a family, and an increasing sense of powerlessness over my future. On the other, so long as there was still a chance for my dreams to come true, I was determined to stay up-beat and positive, and continue working towards them.
I wish I’d realised back then how much creation and nurturing I’m capable of as a single person. I wish I’d known the deep emotional fulfilment to be found through connection with extended family, community, dear friends, friends’ children, animals and nature. When I finally gave up on having children, a heavy burden was lifted and I could feel free again.
Thanks to you and Monica for sharing the story of your egg-freezing with such grace and good-humour. May your dreams of creation and nurturing come true in whatever form turns out to be right for you xx
Awww Liz. This is such a bravehearted story to share. Sending you and Monica loads of love and support in the wake of this fertility try that didn’t work out. I too have been through over 14 years of IVFs, GCs, donor eggs, divorce, getting married again, trying again.
The best advice I got was from a Chinese Medicine doctor qi gong Master Dr. Yang in NYC who did accupuncture for me and gave me the mantra “No ‘What if’s’.”
Stay present. Don’t go down the rabbit holes.
As Brenè would say the antidote for foreboding joy is gratitude. Glad you and Monica found each other this lifetime.
Sending love from Buenos Aires. 💛 Ida
thank you ida! i love that mantra no more rabbit holes in 2023!!!
In my coaching career, I find this nameless-to-the-client condition to be so common. I ask, “What does this feeling remind you of?” and the stories pour out.
I'm sorry for the sadness and suffering in your experience, and grateful for the sharing.
i’m so glad you’ve created a safe space for them to share these stories that others may not have had the ability to receive ❤️
Thank you for writing about this, and I’m really sorry the egg freezing didn’t work out as well as hoped. So many people go through ambiguous loss without being able to name it. Personally, I find my mental health is SO much better in my late 40s than it was age 35-45. I think that’s because my loss has crystallised and I can now deal with it. In hindsight I can see how very exhausting it was to manage intense and conflicting emotions for years on end.
On one hand I was experiencing the stress and disappointments of dating, heavy external pressures to have a family, and an increasing sense of powerlessness over my future. On the other, so long as there was still a chance for my dreams to come true, I was determined to stay up-beat and positive, and continue working towards them.
I wish I’d realised back then how much creation and nurturing I’m capable of as a single person. I wish I’d known the deep emotional fulfilment to be found through connection with extended family, community, dear friends, friends’ children, animals and nature. When I finally gave up on having children, a heavy burden was lifted and I could feel free again.
Thanks to you and Monica for sharing the story of your egg-freezing with such grace and good-humour. May your dreams of creation and nurturing come true in whatever form turns out to be right for you xx